Thoughts on My Name

Most of us don't put a lot of thought into our names. Much like the color of our eyes, we have our names from birth. While our name is a fairly flexible piece of ourselves in comparison to our genetic traits, it's amazing how attached I was to mine and defined I who had become by it.

I was married at a very early age and subsequently divorced not much later. Any woman out there who has gotten married knows what a pain it is, and at the time of my divorce a paperwork swaff-oo (on my own part) kept my married last name. The only way to get my birth name back was to change it via the courts and at the time that was just too much work. Besides, my career was budding and I was already engaged to be married to the second man who won me over, so what was the point?

Well, the engagement didn't work out and I am now in the process of changing my career. I wanted to be who I really am, both inside and on paper. In most venues of my personal life, I was already representing myself with my birth name but because of that piece of paper I couldn't change my name on a bank account or a pay check. So nearly seven years after the divorce, I finally took the plunge, went to court, and it's legally done.

I was surprised at how happy and different I felt, even though all I did was get a judge to sign a piece of paper. When I get my Personal Trainer certification, my birth name will go on the certificate instead of a name that represents a time in my life full of strife and growing pains (not that I am free of those). Naturally, my mother asked me what I will do if someone else proposes; a question only a mother would ask and be concerned about. My response is to deal with that if the time comes. Considering my prior experience with "disengagement" I know anything can happen. So when anything does happen, at least I can be me, through and through, while I work with whatevcr life tosses me.